7/4/2020 55-72 cloudy
It's July 4th and I couldn't connect to it. 10:35 pm and fireworks everywhere. Stopped what I was doing, called my auntie to tell her this festival that celebrate with fireworks. She didn't care much. The sounds of the fireworks here are nothing like the sounds of fireworks in China. Probably ten years of amount used is equal to a day used in China during the Spring Festival. Not that it is better, for sure lot more pollution.
My daughter is probably looking at the fireworks with her dad now. The joy of seeing magical lights, the world in child's eyes is a much better world. Two birds are chirping. Normally they are sleeping right now. Not sure if they are scare just like dogs. We animals, yet, human think it fun, others afraid of it.
Roommate is at work. Working during the pandemic seem brave. This is a time the tightly connect bravery and foolishness.
Gonna remember to harvest the cucumber tomorrow, then the zucchini and tomato. It is summer time but I still have allergies and still wear sweatshirt at night. Portland never warm enough for me. However, my hometown in China is getting too hot to bear each visit.
A few friends stopped by today during a bike ride. Scatter here and there in the yard chatting on and off. I lay on the grass while W lean on the wall, at a corner where the evening light beams are better to be enjoyed with closed eyes. The other two friends enjoyed their wine and started a little dance.
Went for a two and half hours hike. Dausi ran away when she saw bigger dogs, well behaved off leash. Tasted a few different berries, drank some hot tea, had a good conversation with D. Then found a slug in my fruit container, a life that come across slugs often.
My neighbor had a yard sale today. Got a few toys for my daughter. Gonna leave them for a few days before giving to her. A time live with virus, fear about virus, and keep wondering about virus, a long term all human involved hide and seek.
Exchanged some plants, gave away a few household items, pickup bookshelf on curb side - a life style Chinese disdain is well valued by me, love the earth and treat things better, a good way to get old.
D(a nurse): Healthcare worker don't get tested.
me: why?
D: I think that if they don't test us the they an let us work still.
Being caring and patient when knowing someone else seem important.
I found many people here aren't settling no matter at what age. Model humans seem to have hard time stay focus and cultivate their own ground with a particular close person. Instead feeling hesitate to calm down and pay attention to the one in front of them.
No one is better than another. It is just which one you decide to be with and to respect the most. Relationship needs to make affect to build.
I probably sense it stronger than others because I am from a more family centered culture. Not that my root culture is better. Both cultures are not at their best balanced stages. The independency here makes everything more equal but a little too separated to me.
The restricted moral standard kind of trapped people inside the family, though supportive and tightly connected. The point is to find and value a particular important quality in him/her and help out with other shortages. Love him/her as who she/he is and appreciate that best part you found, respect as a whole with the shortages. No one is better than another.
8/10/2020 2:07
Fall is quietly coming. I needed a jacket last night and felt the strong wind today. Yet, It's so nice that it kicked away some moments of pandemic and left a feeling of life is sweet and happy.
Fixed my bike yesterday, so after a dumpling making with classmates on Zoom today, I took my daughter for a bike ride to Cathedral park. I was laying on the deck, felt the nice air and great weather; my daughter putted her feet in the water, grabbed my hands to avoid falling into the river - wind was strong. So many boats landed after an afternoon of fun play. Gooses flew around, they don't mind the wind at all. At…
Almost 3 am, I am drinking tea in the living room, Mingus laying next to me, like the old days. Yet, it was only a year ago I moved out of our "home." He must be six or seven years old, even my daughter is five now. In human age he is older than me now, 42-49, wow, sounds old. But he still acting like a kid, running around with his tail knocking things down. I view my life in the US as a second life. With the flying time that never ever stops, this second life is having more and more memory. Can't go back to 30s, 20s, or childhood, I got pushed, bit by bit, getting closer and…